Your Daily Slice
Follow us on Facebook and Twitter

Fark U.S News

Working for the government comes with some great perks, like job stability, posh benefits packages, and in many cases, the need to pay taxes [Asinine]

Not only is driving with early Alzheimer's ill-advised, studies now show it might also be ill-advised as well [Interesting]

Smoking hot cougar that had been prowling near high school turns out to be a male. Just like that hooker you picked up the other night [Amusing]

A boardwalk is a lovely place to have a wedding... provided that the boardwalk can support all of your chunky asses [Amusing]

Somali pirates attempt attack on Dutch warship with expected results [Fail]

Archbishop of New York calls out NYPD police commissioner, and St. Patrick's Day parade grand marshal, for being late to church. Fortunately the commissioner had a good excuse [Hero]

Larry Flynt to write history of presidents' sex lives. Suggested titles include "From Johnson to Bush" and "There's A Reason They Called Millard 'Fillmore'" [Interesting]

A possible factor in Type 2 diabetes risk is antici- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - [Interesting]

If you beat the murder charges, but you did actually commit the murder, the first thing you do shouldn't be to write a taunting letter to prosecutors detailing the crime. Unless you want that to also be the last thing you do [Dumbass]

Disgruntled ex-employee of car dealership accused of remotely disabling 100 customer's cars over the internet. In other news, your car dealer can apparently disable your car over the internet [Scary]

Last chance to sign up for 2010 Fark NCAA Tournament Pick'em. Search for Fark, no pword required. Duke sucks [Cool]

Health officials reveal that most brain injuries the result of falls, accidents, reruns of "Two and a Half Men" [Obvious]

A possible factor in diabetes risk is antici- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - [Interesting]

Today's Fark-Ready headline "Sleeping man shocked after cold man jumps into bed" [Obvious]

Cutest pics you'll see today of a Persian cat taking a dip in the family pool [Sappy]

The Pentagon official who allegedly boasted of running his own private team of "Jason Bournes" is finally speaking out [Interesting]

Coffee, tea, or flight attendants in hot pants? [Amusing]

Five of the 10 plants with the highest amount of mercury emitted are in Texas, which explains a lot [Scary]

Giant hovering pliers attack house in England. I say, shall we all panic? Quite [Scary]

Photoshop theme: This will not end well [Photoshop]

Cable glitch replaces children's TV with Playboy channel for the BEST TWO HOURS EVER [Amusing]

43-year-old woman arrested for alleged sex act with student (w/ "hell yes" pic) [Dumbass]

Jon Stewart: "He's just like our last president". Texas school board member: "Somebody needs to stand up to the experts" Jon Stewart: "Wow he really is just like our last president." [Amusing]

Bus driver who won £2.3 million lottery the day after getting a divorce vows to share his jackpot with his ex-wife. YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG [Fail]

Behold the horror that is the Steve Jobs cheese head. Good luck trying to get to sleep tonight [Scary]

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - pation [Interesting]

Health officials reveal that most brain injuries are the result of falls, accidents, reruns of "Two and a Half Men" [Obvious]

Man ends his electrician career to become a conductor [Sad]

Armed robber goes to a grocery store, pulls out a knife, and demands cash. Do the other customers: a.) hold him at gunpoint until the cops arrive, b.) tackle him and take his knife away, or c.) bring him down with a hail of vegetables? [Amusing]

In case your faith in humanity wasn't shaken enough [Asinine]